Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
