ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
