There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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