is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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