Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize