Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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