So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
