If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think my vagina is haunted
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
