Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
