so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize