Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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