She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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