if you like me you must not know who I am
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
