god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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