a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
