using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
