Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
