If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
