he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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