I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
