A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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