none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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