this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
