we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dignity is for republicans.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
