I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
