Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
