some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
