I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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