he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
