I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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