We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
