what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
