Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
