Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
