Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
