I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Never underestimate the power of titties
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
