I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize