If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
