My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
