the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
