Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
