just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
