You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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