next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
