He had one of those small greek statue penises
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
