She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
