if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
