If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
