When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
