MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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