Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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