you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
