ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
