Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
