you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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