So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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