are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
