remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
