i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
