the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
