you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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