walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
