We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
